lovepeaceohana: Eggman doing the evil laugh, complete with evilly shining glasses. (bookmark)
hold to the truth in your heart ([personal profile] lovepeaceohana) wrote in [community profile] fiction_drabbles 2010-04-30 11:31 pm (UTC)

Title: The Jar

A couple of typos, but overall entertaining. I'm not familiar with the series, but I enjoyed the playfulness of the characters' rivalry.

Title: Settling Winter

This is very heartwarming, and I love the imagery of two people in love snuggling over a cup of hot cocoa. I hope he remembered marshmallows! ^-^

Title: Homecoming

Hmm. I didn't like this one quite as much as the previous one - I appreciate what you've written, but it's lacking something. I'm sorry that's so vague; it's just that it didn't resonate with me as well as the previous pieces.

Title: Traditions

It took me a moment to warm up to this one, because the descriptions of the customs seem very detached and impersonal. Then the last line, though brief, instantly ties the piece together and feels profoundly meaningful given the weight of the leading paragraphs. Well done :)

Title: Breakout

Hmm. This one would probably make more sense to me if I understood the fandom/characters better.

Title: Hellhound

There's an interesting contrast going on here between the high-fantasy feel of the first paragraph and the informal, almost careless speech employed by the woman in the second paragraph. I'm not sure they mesh perfectly in such a short piece, but I can see how a longer piece could have made it work less jarringly.

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