The Dream

[sterling]

Title: The Dream
Challenge/Prompt: Yesterday
Original Fiction
Rating: G
Warnings: None

Yesterday, she told him that she loved him. Fragmented images flashed through his mind, as he tried in vain to remember the details of the dream: the lamplit city street, the spicy scent of her clove-flavored breath, the way she covered her mouth with her hand to hide her beautiful smile.

He had to find her. Thousands of unanswered questions besieged him; there must have been something he’d missed among his rapidly fading memories. His stomach turned with an inexplicable sense of urgency. He was positive that he didn't have much time.

If only he knew where to start.

Comments

[zopyrus]

I really like this--you really capture your character's disorientation, and your turn from the dreamy first paragraph into the urgency of the second half is nicely timed. Also, I'm a sucker for alliteration, which you use well.

[sterling]

Thank you! ^_^ Alliteration is definitely present in my style, as the feel, tone, and sound of a piece is very important to me: anything I write must be smooth when read out loud (if that makes any sense). This heavily influences everything I write...

[ieune]

Yes, this feels very dream-like in the small but precise details he recalls (don't we all!) from such moments, and now I'm terribly curious as to where his sudden and urgent fear for her safety comes from. I especially like the thousand of unanswered questions beseiging him--great imagery! : )

[sterling]

I imagine that he's starting to recall more of the dream (the urgency is more residue he doesn't quite remember), the more that comes back to him, more of the mystery is revealed. That deja-vu feeling dreams leave us with is so surreal (and frustrating) sometimes!

Thank you for your comments! ^_^