SHIFT

[thewickedquill]

Title: Shift
Challenge/Prompt: “Fall”
Original Fiction or Fanfiction Fan Fiction [Dark Angel]: Walk the Long Road
Characters/Pairings: Max (X5-452), Zack (X5-599)
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: I don’t own Dark Angel. I just play with it.
Summary: He remembered - and it worried her.
Author's Notes: This is for a fan fiction story (“Walk the Long Road”) that I’ve been playing with off and on over the past year. Originally, the scene (or this portion of) was about 170 words. It was a challenge to cut it down and see if I could still say what I wanted.

 

"You remember?" she yelped.

"If by remember you mean notice that you're still living the fantasy of a normal life, then yes, I remember."

Max froze. Would he deny everything that had happened now that his memory had returned? She wasn’t sure she could deal with Soldier Zack again. Her feelings had changed and she feared he might crush the faint hope that had taken root within her heart.

"Why are you still in Seattle, Max?"

She shrugged. "It's home."

His eyes narrowed and he growled, “Because of him?"

Max smiled inwardly. Was that jealousy?

She reached for him.

"Not anymore."

Comments

[sterling]

I admit, I don't know anything about this fandom, but I read it anyway. ^_^

It's amazing how challenging it can be to reduce something to 100 words, isn't it? Some of my drabbles start out longer and yet others seem to just fall into place, but in the end, I almost always think it was a good challenge. Keeps us from getting rusty, right? ^_^

[thewickedquill]

I've been terribly remiss in not responding...though I wouldn't have known you commented - my host's server crashed and I haven't have email access in over 12 hours *whines*

Okay, back on track. Wanted to thank you for reading even though it's a fandom you're not familiar with. (ETA: Thank you for reading and commenting :))

Honestly, though, this piece (and the greater story) deviate quite a bit from canon so it isn't classic Dark Angel in any way.

All that aside, this was an interesting experiment. I know that I lost some of the punch by cutting it down, but at the same time, I think it might have improved the scene somewhat. Now I just have to find a good balance for the final product :)

And like you said, sometimes you start a drabble off with more and then weed it. This was one of them. It was a good exercise.

And wow I'm rambling again. Gah, I haven't had a decent night's sleep in over a week and I'm so stressed out that it hurts to think. I can't wait until the 14th. I really need to unwind!